Players of Weird Sport Cleared of all Charges

By now, most have heard the fantastic news of the Duke University lacrosse players’ having been cleared of all charges related to the alleged sexual assault, rape, and kidnapping of a black stripper last year. These young men, who were falsely accused of several serious crimes, then targeted for conviction and incarceration by the presiding DA, have finally closed a very dark chapter in their lives: a setback that they seem to have overcome with flying colors. Of course, while the Rutgers basketball team received an apology (and rightly so), don’t hold your breath for the people of Durham, DA Nifong, or the accuser to beg for forgiveness. Unless you like suffocating.

New Mario a Very Good, Very Flat Game

Review-compiling site extraordinaire Metacritic currently reports Super Paper Mario has received an average score of 87 out of 100 from 18 reviews. That’s a very good score, and perhaps a sign that the recent Wii game drought may be soon ended by a torrent of great software. I may have to check this one out. ‘Course, I’m more interested in other companies’ jumping on board this whole “paper” thing. Think about it: Paper Halo, Paper World of Warcraft, even Paper Tetris. I tell ya, this could be a goldmine.

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Get yer Injun Red Sofas!

In a bizarre story out of New York, a black lady named Doris Moore happily received her newly delivered sofa, only to discover a descriptive label identifying the piece’s color as “Nigger-brown.” Both the owner of the furniture store as well as the sofa’s original supplier deny any involvement, both suggesting the possibility of a mistranslation from overseas. I just want to know when I can order my sheets in “cracker white” and my draperies in “Jap yellow.” The full story is only a click away.

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Deficit, Shmecifit: Free iPods for All!

The Detroit News is reporting that a state spending bill proposed by Democrats (gasp!) in the Michigan state house of representatives would purchase an iPod for every student in the state. In light of the one billion dollar deficit Michigan faces, perhaps they should just buy them an iPod shuffle? For those keeping score, our government is now responsible for our health, income, education, personal choices, and ability to listen to Simon and Garfunkel while riding the school bus. Hit the jump for the full article.

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wii cant afford that

Like the shock experienced by thousands every day when the nice Asian girl brings the sushi bill, and you cannot figure out how you spent sixty dollars on uncooked fish: I just found out that Nintendo Wii is going to cost $250 US. I guess that’s cheap, compared to the $399 Xbox and the $599 PS3: but still, I don’t think I’m going to be able to stomach that cost. I plan on going into the mission field in a few years; I can’t spend a quarter grand on a game console… I don’t think. Here’s the downlow: it comes with one controller, one controller attachment, the console itself, and a collection of sports games. I guess that’s not actually a bad deal, but for me, I was hoping for $150-$200. Who do they think I am? A UPS driver? Geez.

like never before

While driving along Foothill Blvd in beautiful SoCal today, I saw my first Saturn Aura. A good-looking car, in my opinion, though the tail reeks a bit too much of the G6. Good for GM, though, that they finally can build a midsize that holds a candle to the imports. Heck, it holds a good-sized flashlight, actually: 250 hp v6, euro-suspension, good interior, hot looks, good fuel economy, priced right, chops salad, enjoys long walks on the beach, etc.